Wednesday, April 25, 2007

If it's Wednesday...

...then it is time for some good old-fashioned Hillary Clinton bashing! Ah, I've avoided the 'ol gal for a while, but there are too many tasty treats out there to resist!
First, I'll give a Jersey guy a crack - from Enlighten, we hear a tale of how Hillary is not simply a privileged white woman who has partnered in law firms, earned dollars from shady land deals, and make the laws of the land while living in one of America's most exclusive suburbs...she's actually a struggling black slave woman, a modern-day Moses!

You see, Hillary was faced with a faulty microphone at a recent Manhatten speaking engagement. Gathering her tattered minions around her, she spoke thusly:

"This reminds me of one of my favorite American heroines, Harriet Tubman," the senator told 1,800 cheering supporters when her mike was restored."

She made it to freedom after having been a slave and she got to New York and she could have been so happy . . . but she kept going back down South to bring other freed slaves to freedom."

And she used to say, 'No matter what happens, keep going,' " Hillary Clinton said. "So we're going to keep going until we take back the White House!"

Yes! Whenever I see Hillary Clinton, I think of Harriet Tubman!

And as
Michelle Malkin notes, Hillary has even developed a "blackccent"! Speaking to the shakedown organization known as the National Action Network, she spoke thusly:

You know, when I walk into the Oval Office in January of 2009, I'm afraid I'm gonna lift up the rug and I'm goin' to see so much stuff uh-nder thar . . . You know, what is it about us always havin' to clean up after people? . . . But this is not just going to be pickin' up socks off the floor. This is going to be cleanin' up the government."

You know, I work with an office full of black women, and none of them - none - speak like that. Condoleezza Rice doesn't speak like that. Neither does Barak Obama. Maybe Hillary ought to wipe off the blackface and realize that doing a minstrel show while standing with the buffoonish Al Sharpton is not earning her as many points as she thinks. Then again, Hil, never mind... you're doing just fine!

And here's something to note, while speaking of blackface: Hillary has taken up blogging, just like the rest of us pajama-wearing, tinfoil-hat twisting loners! But does Hillary really
share the views held on firedoglake?

It's the online home for Jane Hamsher, producer of the 1994 cult classic film "Natural Born Killers" and author of a bestselling, tell-all book "Killer Instinct" on the making of the controversial movie.


In Democratic political circles, though, Hamsher is better known as the author of a racially offensive attack against Sen. Joe Lieberman (I-Conn.). The incident occurred last summer when Lieberman still officially carried a "D" after his name but was running an ultimately unsuccessful primary race against Ned Lamont.
Hamsher, who was supporting Lamont in the race, posted a doctored photo of Lieberman in black face on HuffingtonPost.com

Based on Hillary's new manner of speaking, one thinks that she has a lot in common with the racist Hamsher indeed...incidentally, the WaPost describes firedoglake as "smart", "edgy", and "progressive", but the first post I saw when I clicked on the link was this...does using the phrase 'beat-off' in bold caps now qualify as "edgy"? Oh, Don Imus, you wuz railroaded... !

Finally, no doubt taken from the stalls in the
Parkway Rest Stop, we get the cure for those Hillary blues:

1. Open a new file in your computer.
2. Name it “Hillary Rodham Clinton”
3. Send it to the trash.
4. Empty the trash.
5. Your PC will ask you, “Do you really want to get rid of “Hillary Rodham Clinton?”
6. Firmly Click “Yes.”
7. Feel better.

Yeah, that's the stuff....

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yo, that is too funny! I'm going viral with that one!

Enlighten-NewJersey said...

Hillary's pandering will be a bottomless source of blog material. Perhaps a new blog is in order. We can call it Hill-arity.

Thanks for the link..

The JerseyNut said...

NRO has The Hillary Spot here - http://hillaryspot.nationalreview.com/ - when I get the motivation I'll add it to my link bar...